


Local Teenagers Kill Each Other Over Intense Game Of Uno

by The_Phoenix_Heart



Series: The Genre Is Idiot Teens Being Idiot Teens [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Drabble basically, Gen, He dies all the time, Kenny Dies, Okay also technically there are ships but also, UNO, Uno was created by the devil to tempt us, and we can't resist, does Kenny count as major character death?, fluff?, no, okay but like let's be real, the genre is idiot teens being idiot teens, they aren't important - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 05:56:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16212851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Phoenix_Heart/pseuds/The_Phoenix_Heart
Summary: In which Eric has an aneurysm, Stan gets drunk at the end, cards are burnt, and Craig is emotional for once in his life.Really it's all Uno's fault.





	Local Teenagers Kill Each Other Over Intense Game Of Uno

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired but me and some kids in my class playing Uno instead of working. We were literally all sobbing with laughter at the end.
> 
> Uuuuuuh this is stupid but also it's funny I think.
> 
> Okay am I actually the only one who thinks of Uno in this light? As fun but also painful?
> 
> READ ON READER....I guess???

It was game night at Clyde and Eric's house. It was game night at Clyde and Eric's house because their parents had gotten married two years before and had the second biggest house after Token and their parents were always out at work or date nights. But game night's at Token's house were banned after the monopoly game that shall not be mentioned. So here they were at Clyde and Eric's house.

The game on the menu tonight?

**_Uno._ **

Oh yes, that horror that everyone speaks of in quiet voices in dark hallways. The destroyer of love and families. The game of chance and strategy that would make chess cry. If there were a game that was the bully on the playground, this would be that game. The game that could mistaken for ecstasy. Amazing and fun, but deadly and addicting.

Who suggested this horrific abomination of addiction?

Eric claims that Kyle was the one who suggested it and that he bullied the others into playing it. Much to Kyle's anger.

Kyle said that Craig owned the deck and Clyde cheekily said that they should play.

Clyde claims that it was all Craig's idea because he is secretly a chaos lord.

Craig denies being involved in this or even owning the deck, even though Tweek claims that yes Craig does own the deck and also held it where everyone could see it. Tweek doesn't remember who said they should play however.

Heidi shuffled a quarter of the deck saying that it was clearly Bebe because Bebe was wearing her sleek, crimson ballet flats and pigeon blood ruby earrings, which meant that she was pissed off and out for blood. Nichole nodded to this while Bebe continued to play Candy Crush.

Kenny professionally shuffled the other three-fourths of the deck and said something along the lines of "mhr mhr mff." Everyone understood that he was saying he himself suggested it.

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and said that obviously Eric is the one who said it, because Eric is self-destructing and would suggest a game that he is absolute shit at. Also Eric is one letter off of being Eris and that clearly means something.

(Nobody said Butters did it, or even asked him what he thought, but if you asked him he would give Wendy a look before saying he was caught up in his game of Angry Birds and didn't here who suggested it.)

* * *

It started out horribly, so you can only guess how it went from there.

Kyle claimed that the person left of the shuffler was the one who dealt it all out. Kenny and Heidi were the shufflers, but in between them was Wendy, who said she wanted to deal. Next to Kenny, Clyde claimed that he had a right to it. Clyde got a slap on the head and his seven cards wet with his tears.

As soon as Eric picked up his first card and immediately groaned, blaming Wendy for his suffering. She just rolled her eyes and kept dealing. There were similar groans and dissimilar whoops and cheers when they saw their cards. Wendy placed the rest of the cards in the middle of their circle before saying, "Are you ready to begin?"

There were some whimpers, hesitant agreements, loud cheers to start, and Clyde saying, "Is it too late to suggest apples to apples?"

"Yes." Wendy said simply, before she turned over the starter card.

Red eight.

Clyde was starting, as part of the agreement they came to when Wendy got to deal but now he was afraid.

"S-so I can put whichever card I want right because it's first card???" Craig glared at Clyde at pointed to the deck. Clyde hesitantly picked up a card from the deck and screamed, "WHYYYYY?!" when he saw it.

Clyde drew nine more cards before finally he picked up a green eight, immediately followed by Craig putting down a green six. But all Clyde could think of was the words Eric had said when Clyde had drawn his fifth card, "This is the beginning of the end."

And God wasn't that a fucking mood.

* * *

After the disastrous start with Clyde having to pull cards everything settled down, and it seemed like it would be alright.

Until a nervous looking Stan had to put down either a red or a seven, and with a hint of regret in his eyes he placed down a red draw two card. Right next to him Eric screamed before throwing down a green draw two. Then Jimmy gently and apologetically placed down a blue draw two. Butters scrambled to grab his red draw two, Nichole sobbed while laughing as she placed down a yellow draw two, all while Craig seemed to get more and more nervous.

Then came Token's turn. Everybody was laughing or sweating or hyping up what would happen. He debated over his cards before calmly and quietly placing down...

A draw four wild card.

Craig, from right next to him, screamed and threw all his cards down before he punched Token in the face.

(Token got a bandaid over his nose and Tweek slapped his boyfriend on the back of the head. Craig ended up having to draw fourteen cards.)

* * *

"Hey Kyle? I think you should have another turn!" Stan said with a smile as he placed down a yellow rewind. Everybody else in the circle groaned.

"No, no Stan I think you should have another turn!" Kyle winked and placed down a blue rewind. More groaning.

"No you!" Stan yelled placing a red rewind down.

Kenny laughed quietly and showed Clyde two backs of Uno cards, set up to show the words 'No u.' Clyde giggled and Bebe chuckled right next to him.

"No I insist! YOU!" Kyle yelled back while placing down a green rewind.

Stan growled and threw down a second green rewind, "NO YOU!"

Kyle threw his hands up in the air (although he made sure no one saw his cards), "FINE THEN!" He then threw down a green card and suddenly Bebe was forced to pick cards because of course she didn't have a one or green card.

* * *

Butters giggled and placed down a blue nine. Red looked over and yelled, "UNO!"

Butters looked down and just about cried. He had thought so hard about saying Uno, that he hadn't even said it and now he had to draw six cards.

* * *

"DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH I'VE DRAWN?!?!" Craig yelled in pure fury. After the fiasco where he pulled fourteen cards he had to pull more cards because he didn't have any blue in his fiasco deck, then Tweek hit him with a blue rewind and he had to draw _even more cards_. AND THEN, Token hit him with a blue rewind and he had to draw _even even more cards_ and then Token hit him with _another_ draw four and holy Jesus fucking Christ on the motherfucking crucifix he was about to start a brawl.

Wendy glared at Craig, who was yelling at Heidi about complaining about drawing cards. So annoying. Maybe she should do something to shake up the game once more. I mean, she had two cards, a green nine and a switch hands card. Heidi had placed down a red three and it was clear she would be fucked.

So she placed down her switch hands card, and then looked Craig straight in the eyes, "Gimme the cards."

There was a collective gasp from everyone but Craig, who screamed and almost sobbed with joy. Uno had a habit of taking the emotionless and making them emotional.

(It takes only one turn for Craig to be back up to sixteen cards. When he reached eleven and still didn't have a green or eight, so they had to take all the cards that had been played and turn them into the new deck.)

* * *

Kyle placed down a draw four card, much to Stan's dismay, and spoke the new color, "The color is red."

All around the circle everyone screamed, "I DON'T HAVE RED!" "HOW DARE YOU!" "NOOOO!" "KEAAAAHL!"

All except for Craig, who looked down at his cards, and actually smiled.

All red.

Nothing but red for Craig.

* * *

Kenny looked at the color and number, blue two. (Hey the rhymed!) He then looked down at his cards and heard Eric say, "Don't do it Kenny."

He had only one blue card. "Don't do it Kenny. Seriously Ken I'll fucking kill you if you do."

How did Eric know what everyone had? Because that was the only way he would be say don't do it. "Ken I'm seriously _don't do it!"_ "Shut up fatass he can do whatever he wants."

Fuck it. Not like he would actually die anyway. Kenny placed his card down.

Blue draw two.

"NYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUU!" Eric cried out in agony as Clyde placed down a red draw two, Bebe placed another red draw two, Kyle placed down a draw four while looking at Eric with a smirk, Stan sighed as he placed down a green draw two.

Eric screamed and threw his cards down as he was forced to draw twelve. As he messily drew however, he picked up thirteen cards instead of twelve and threw the thirteenth card right in Kenny's eye.

"OH MY GOD! CARTMAN KILLED KENNY!"

"Yeah, yeah he's such a bastard, can we get on with the game?"

* * *

Craig was actually in tears, he had an uno, When he said uno no one acknowledged it, simply crying with laughter as Tweek right next to him changed the color to red once more.

Everyone had to draw for red cards, however when it came time for Craig's turn, he gently placed down his card and then cried out triumphantly, "I WIIIIIN!!!"

He looked around the room and blinked once, then twice, then thrice to make sure he was actually seeing what he saw. Yep, it was real.

Clyde had somehow managed to get onto the chandelier and was crying. Wendy was setting all her cards one fire, as was Bebe, Eric, Butters (shockingly), and also Kyle. Token was fast asleep with Nichole cuddled up into his right side and Jimmy on his left. Kenny was dead and there were flies and rats all over his body. He could hear Stan in the kitchen opening a beer can. Red and Heidi were crying into each other's shoulders. He then looked to Tweek who just smiled and said, "You sleep on the couch tonight."

Yep, another ordinary game of Uno.

**Author's Note:**

> DID YOU ENJOY IT?!
> 
> TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS!!!
> 
> TEEEEEEELL ME!


End file.
